Sometimes…

The moments that matter most…

Are the ones you weren’t there for.

My Dear Faith,

Today, your mum told me something you said.

You said,

“Today is the best day of my life.”

And when I heard that…

I smiled.

You’re on a Disney cruise now.

Living in a world

that I know you’ve been dreaming about

for a long time.

And I’m really happy for you.

Truly.

But I also want to tell you something honestly.

Daddy isn’t there.

Not because I don’t want to be.

But because right now…

I’m not in a position to be.

A trip like that costs money.

And Daddy… doesn’t have that right now.

Not only that,

I’m in a season of my life

where I’m trying to rebuild everything.

There are debts I need to settle.

Responsibilities I cannot run away from.

Even leaving Singapore

is not something I can easily do.

Sometimes, I sit in my room…

or in my car while driving…

and I look at the photos.

And yes…

I wish I was there.

There are moments I feel:

Sad.

Regretful.

Like I could have made better choices in life.

But even with all that…

I’m still happy.

Because you are happy.

And maybe that’s what being a father means.

Not always being there in every moment.

But still choosing to love you,

to support you,

and to be happy for you…

even from a distance.

I don’t know what the future will look like.

I wish I could promise you

that I’ll be there for every moment like this.

But the truth is…

I don’t know.

But I do know this.

I will keep going.

One step at a time.

One drive at a time.

And no matter what…

I will always be your dad.

Love,

Daddy